My pain soulmate!

ImageLately, I have been struggling to express myself with describing my illness and pain. I get a lot of blank stares and awkward transitions on to another topic. I recently commented that my friends are either young and super active or older with health issues. Don’t get me wrong I love my friends but I do struggle between over sharing or not letting others know the real me. 

Today I got to talk (all day actually) to my pain sistah from another Mistah. I actually felt relieved and not alone. She is young AND dealing with chronic pain. In this case yes misery does love company because, dang it, it’s lonely being miserable! We were finishing each others sentences practically and swapped war stories. We just laughed and could not believe how similar we are and our struggles. 
God gave me this life and these struggles to share my story and to build fellowship. We are not meant to suffer alone. Loneliness is a choice because God created us to have unique connections with others. To share our sorrows is to lighten our burdens and in my case feel that I am not completely crazy because someone else goes through what I do! Don’t misunderstand I am a nut case and proud of it! God just makes me laugh sometimes. I complain no one my age deals with what I do wah wah wah like a little child and then God places it on someone’s heart to reach out to me. It’s like an annoyed farher finally giving in to a whiney child. I love my Father and that He puts up with me and when I am faithful he provides. 
So today was spent in bed but not alone, instead, chatting to my pain soulmate about life, love and being so tired you want to punch yourself in the face. 🙂
iPhone= 200$
Unlimited texting= 20$
Someone that understands exactly what you mean=Priceless!!

4 thoughts on “My pain soulmate!

  1. metaphoricalmarathons

    Oh how I loved this! I’m 26 and have chronic fatigue, or in other words WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING TO MY BODY, and emotionally am healing my whole entire freakin’ life at the moment, and it’s sooooo lonely…like deeply lonely. But, it’s that way because I notice so often how the closest of friends don’t know what’s going on for me. I definitely swing between over sharing and keeping right quiet too. Sometimes I feel desperate for the ones nearest me to know literally what’s going on for me every day, in the physical sense…but when I try to dip into it as a subject, it often feels too vast to even touch on. I try and it’s nice but y’know when it just leaves you realising how little they actually know, how you just wish the friend could get inside your body for a few days and then get out again and THEN have a chat about it all! With new friends I’ve made recently, I definitely share my physical state more – as in, I’ll nap, I’ll say that I’m feeling tired or whatever, and I’ll rest. When we’re together. I used to carry so much shame around this, and a worry that talking about it would just make it worse (i used to have this thing that maybe its all in my head…maybe i’m actually super healthy and if i just got on with it i’d be okay…or maybe thats a load of bullshit?!) but now I see the only way to heal is to take the chronic fatigue outside, ie. share it.

    I’m definitely wanting more friends that understand it, have it, etc. I have found one recently and gosh it’s a relief. I think we need to hang out more. It just leaves you not having to explain things! I remember the first time I had a conversation with her, I was left baffled because I didn’t have to champion myself unnecessarily or explain things or worry that the person was thinking I was just a complicated mess…!
    Have you gone out and found people, like in groups or something, or have you just had people turn up in your life with this kinda thing? I want some more of this 🙂

    Long comment… 🙂 glad to have found your blog xx

    1. emilyrgrace Post author

      Please add me on Facebook!! It’s crazy awesome to talk to friends in similar situations and not having to do the lengthy convos and I stead they just get it!! I’m so glad you enjoy the blog I have found the more authentic I am the more I attract people in my life. I used to be permasmile and act like nothing was wrong it was exhausting haha FB Emily Nolan I live in Kure Beach Nc


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