Regret

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I lost too many years
Dancing with the devil
For relief
I’ve lost my future
With my virginity
It’s been downhill
And all uphill
At the same time
A black widow
I got tired of hurting
Cutting so deep
A scalpel to the cancer
An ax to the innocent
Wanting trash thrown out
Years ago
Living in excess until
It’s all gone and dry
Still alive
Water running dry
Living dead without
My spirit
Faking life for ages
While I age past
Change emerging new
Underneath it all still
The same shell of me
A tank with a parade mask
Living in ‘what ifs’
That will never be
One life so aware of
Yet breathing in and out
Standing still, frozen
It used to be
I’ll have time for that
Later
Now I’m late

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