Although it would be wonderful to sleep through all this pain I can’t. No really I can’t! Insomniac here! But really in all seriousness I think we have all been here. At least for me the “forever sleep” has been thought about countless times and planned once and consider to fruition once. Suicide is reality for chronic pain sufferers. If you don’t want to take my word for it look up some statistics. What I want to express more than statistics is that there is hope. I have been in the lowest of lows. A pit of despair, addictions out of control and no one in my corner. To look back and think about all that I would have missed (yes, even with pain still) brings me to tears. Ok granted if I look big picture and just look at myself it seems pretty bleak. Pain, sickness, little sleep, eat, repeat. But I chose to not look at that part. I find pleasure in the smallest moments. A comfy bed, petting my dog, listening to the rain, a hot shower, good conversation, a good meal, wonderful family, nice friends, serving at my church etc. Your life can either be one clunky whole or the sum of all your blessings. I chose the latter of the two these days. Fight on friends!